today is my eldest birthday. she's growing up, and fast too. the day she was born, rin woke me up to her having contractions. i was tired, not knowing where i was, but quickly sobered to what was happening. the labor went fast and was intense, but at 3:20, our firstborn was birthed, weighing in at 4lbs, 5oz and was 18" long. yesh, she was premature and was taken to the n.i.c.u. to make sure everything was fine.

i got to go see her before rin did, but i let rin hold her first. i don't know why...i just felt that she got to have those rights. i put my finger in her hand and felt her grip it. she had an iv in her foot and was under a heat lamp to keep her warm. i couldn't believe that she was my daughter. i was a daddy. it blew me away. life changed completely.

i went back to see rin with a couple polaroids of our beautiful child. when rin was able to, we got her in a wheelchair and i pushed her to where b was. rin was handed her and held her for quite a while. then rin handed her to me and i felt another life in my hands. her head fit in the palm of my hand. her eyes were closed. her chest lifted and fell everytime she took a breath. we sat there and just held her.

we had to go back to rin's room while things were done in the n.i.c.u. so we turned on the tv while we had some dinner and birthday cake. we watched "jaws" and i would go back and forth from room to room, checking on b and then back to rin. throughout the night, while rin slept, i would go look in on b and hold her, then go back and get some sleep.

after a couple days, rin was released from the hospital, but b had to stay for observation. that was difficult to leave her. i told rin that we should go home, get cleaned up and we'll come back. after a few more days of b being in the hospital, we were able to take her home.